ME FIRST MONDAY FEATURED POWERHOUSE
Please help us understand your self-love journey. What have you learned along the way?
Bibi: My self-love journey started when I was fairly young. I feel very lucky to have a mom and dad who have always instilled in me self-worth and self-respect. Granted a lot of what they taught me was to keep me out of trouble, but at the same time I learned to go against peer pressure, to stick up for myself, stick up for the underdog, to not put up with anyone's shit and to be OK with the idea of being my own best friend. If no one cheered for me, I knew I had to cheer for myself. The greatest obstacle I deal with when it comes to self-love is consistency. I have to remind myself daily that I'm strong, that I'm worthy, that loving myself is more than enough, but sometimes that gets exhausting and self-doubt can start to creep in. I keep positive energy around me and eliminate anything that brings me self-doubt.
Your outer world is such a representation of your inner world. You mentioned keeping positive energy around you - who is your tribe made up of? How did you choose your tribe? Most importantly, how do you choose who to remove from your tribe?
Bibi: My tribe is made up of my best friends. People who have been in my life since childhood and people who have been in my life only a few years. The people I keep around me are determined by the type of energy I feel when I'm with them. If there is one thing I learned about who you surround yourself with, it's that you should always listen to your gut. In the past, my friendships were very one-sided and I would often make excuses for people and give them the benefit of the doubt. But soon after, I started to realize that the love wasn't genuine and their intentions weren't pure; and even when my gut told me something was off, I'd somehow convince myself I was being paranoid. But after one too many instances, you realize that it's never paranoia, it's truth. Your gut never lies and even if dishonesty isn't so visible, it doesn't mean people always have your best interest in mind. The people who are there for you are the people your gut never has to question. Removing people out of your life is never an easy task. I've done it and trust me, not fun. I remain as sensitive as I can to the situation but ultimately need to remember that my inner happiness has to come first. If this person brings toxicity or stress into my life, I must choose to remove them. It's hardly ever cordial, but it is almost always necessary.
Between your 9-5 and 5-9, how do you make time to prioritize yourself? What do you do?
Bibi: My job, blog events, and wedding planning currently take up most of my time. No matter how busy I get, I set aside 20 minutes of my day solely for myself; I sit alone outside or in an empty conference room at work. There are no phones, no emails, no wedding thoughts, no social media; just me. Sometimes though, I'll grab a notebook with me in case I'm sparked with any new ideas, but most of the time I like to just sit in silence and take it all in. I like going into deep thought of where I am in life, where I want to be, what I'm currently doing that makes me happy, and what I would like to change.
When I find myself very overwhelmed, I put my pride aside and I ask for help. I am very Type A, like things done a certain way, and prefer to do it all myself, but I have learned that this is also the quickest way to burn out. Asking for help doesn't make you any less smart, any less creative, any less anything. What it does do, is bring relief.
What would you say to the person having trouble putting themselves first?
Bibi: My best advice would be to start off with the little things, like taking yourself out on a date, or watching a movie alone. Do things that make you uncomfortable, but ultimately happy; If your friends find it weird or don't understand this new journey, then be your own friend. Learn to be OK without the approval of anyone.
This month's theme at Loved by Destiny is gratitude: What role does gratitude play in your life?
Bibi: No matter what, I always remain grateful. I have my moments where I'm unbearable, I'm cranky, I'm no fun to be around; those are the moments I'm actually most disappointed in myself. I am human and have moments where I forget that no matter how bad a situation is, I'm still so lucky and blessed with so much. Remaining gracious no matter the situation always benefits me in the end. A situation can seem so horrible at the moment, but it then it'll turn out to be something that needed to happen; I sometimes believe those bad moments happen so I can find my gratitude again. On a recent trip to Korea, I was struck with some really bad luck. My computer screen cracked, I lost money, souvenirs I bought for my father were stolen, electronics were missing from my luggage; I felt so much negativity surrounding me and I didn't know how to cope or handle it. At the last straw (after crying of course), I took a moment to breathe and I thanked God for being alive and allowing to even be in Korea. I have health, love, and gratitude - no matter the situation I remind myself to always remain grateful, because in the end, everything will be okay. You will be alive, you will be stronger, and you will be okay.
Describe your self-love journey in one word:
What can we learn from Bibi?
My Abuelita always told me, "Dime con quíen andas y the dire quíen eres" which translates into "Tell me who you are with and I will tell you who you are." As I reflect on this week's theme of "gratitude for our tribe," I'm glad that Bibi kept it all the way real about how she chooses her tribe. As you progress on your highest self journey, you'll notice that some friendships aren't meant to outlive certain phases of your life, and as Bibi mentioned, using our intuition to decipher who stays and who goes is vital. A huge proponent of being your highest self is surrounding yourself with people who love you and want to see you win. However, you also want to be mindful of how you are supporting your own support system as relationships are a two-way street! In addition to being gentle with ourselves, putting your pride aside to ask for help, and solidifying our tribe, Bibi reiterates the importance of gratitude in reframing some of our less-than-desirable situations.
Where can I find this powerhouse?
If you want to learn more about Bibi, her wedding updates, or hilarious videos of her bugging her fiancé, find her Instagram @bibilovesrady or Twitter @bibi_camilo! Also, be sure to visit her website www.biannette.com, for amazing beauty and fashion finds especially curated for girls on a budget like us! Thank you, Bibi!
Who is she?
Bibi Camilo does licensing by day and binges reality TV shows by night. She blogs when she can, listens to the same R&B songs 100 times a day, and as much as she likes to deny it... she really likes to nap! Traveling feeds her soul, Rady, her fiancé, is her better half, and styling is her creative outlet.
Bibi has partnered with notable beauty brands such as Neutrogena, Dove Beauty, Olive + M, Shea Moisture and many more. Fashion has always been more than "trends" for Bibi. Her personal style is derived from her New York attitude and smarts. We all live to be fashionable, but Bibi shares her tips to uncovering fashion finds on every budget! Bibi is a fun and refreshing addition to the #MeFirstMonday movement!