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#MEFIRSTMONDAY

#MEFIRST SERIES FEATURED POWERHOUSE

DESTINY MOORE SALDÍVAR

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Founder, Loved by Destiny

Destiny Moore Saldívar is a social entrepreneur, licensed social worker, and the founder of Loved by Destiny - a brand promoting holistic wellness with love and awareness. She enjoys being in service to her community and facilitates programming/coaching that caters to the eight dimensions of wellness. By caring for ourselves holistically and remembering that we are loved, Destiny believes that we can truly thrive.

In 2018 she founded Loved by Destiny as a self-love guide and since then has discovered that healing is equal parts believing in self-love as it is about the actions we take for ourselves and community. She has facilitated several support groups for womxn of color, wellness workshops, community fundraisers & corporate wellness workshops. Through LBD, Destiny published a guided journal titled, "Unlearning Survival" which has found homes internationally and across the U.S. Destiny also founded the Unlearning Survival Scholarship, awarded to a college-bound womxn of color.

Destiny is a proud Educational Opportunity Program graduate from SUNY New Paltz and Columbia University School of Social Work. She was awarded the Alumnus of Distinction Award in 2018, Forty Under Forty Award in 2019, and Alumni Service Award in 2020 by her alma mater SUNY New Paltz.

 

When she's not supporting BIPOC students, or advocating for holistic wellness, you can find Destiny playing board games with her daughter Lyla, husband Terrell, and pooch Emmett. 

What does a week in the life of Destiny look like? In what ways do you manage to put yourself first even through a busy schedule?

 

Destiny: My 2018 self would tell you that I plan everything to the T - I used to color coordinate my schedule and block out time for my priorities. Looking back, that gives me major anxiety LOL. Now I would describe my style as prioritizing with the flow! I trust my gut in the beginning of the day and set 2-3 small goals that are realistic for me to accomplish. This also means that I honor my body and shift priorities if I'm not feeling great physically, mentally or emotionally.

 

COVID has personally highlighted the importance of giving to myself before I give of myself to other people. My week never looks the same, but I am consistent about giving to myself in the mornings - this is how I put myself first. Every morning the first thing I do is thank God for another day. Then, on most days I'll start my morning ritual where I do one thing for my mind (usually meditate), one thing for my body (usually yoga), and one thing for my soul (usually gratitude journaling). Giving myself this time helps me understand where I am emotionally that day! I'm also a mother and a wife, so having time that's JUST FOR ME helps me avoid feeling resentful when it's time to give my daughter and husband the love and attention they deserve.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and act like I do this everyday. But, I notice that when I don't - my whole day is thrown off. So, I try my best to practice self-compassion, forgive myself, and get back on it the next day.

What does self-love mean and look like to you?

 

Destiny: Self-love means taking the time to practice awareness (How am I? What do I need? Who can I ask for help?) and taking actions that are aligned with what you need to feel your best. I think it's allowing yourself to fall short, to feel your feelings, and to practice the uncomfortable habits of boundaries and saying no.

 

However, I also think self-love is all the "superficial" things we love like taking baths, investing in a manicure, or splurging (if we can) on something that makes us feel nice on the outside. I don't think one can live without the other... our internal worlds reflect our external worlds, and if we invest in our external worlds, then our internal worlds will follow suit. I think the name of the game here is balance.

For me self love means flower baths and answering text messages on my time. It means manicures and calling myself out on people pleasing/saying yes when I mean hell no. It means throwing on a fly dress and also writing a note-to-self on my budget to quit using my credit cards. It means reading books and confronting my abusers. The "and" is so important.

 

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Does your journey to and through self-love inspire your creative pursuits? If so, how? 

 

Destiny: Absolutely. My entire business was founded out of the idea that self-love was so freaking life changing for me and I wanted to help other womxn of color experience that shift as well. This foundation of service continues to guide the fundraisers, workshops, and resources I create and collaborate on for Loved by Destiny. I always try to tie them back to my experience, think about what I learned, and then explore how I can help others find their own lessons. Giving back is super important to me, and if I can offer something I learned that helps you avoid some of my own pitfalls in life - that's a win for us both.
 

This month's theme at Loved by Destiny is "Power." What does power mean to you? How are you powerful?

 

Destiny: My coach Hasani Reyes has challenged me on this when she asked me what the difference was between power and strength. She highlighted that strength requires a lot of hard work and action... it is something you exert, it is loud. Power is something you are, you find power in stillness and being - not doing. Power is quiet. That was a mind blown emoji moment and a teaching that has stayed with me ever since. Now I find myself asking, "Are you trying to be strong or powerful?" "Do you need to take action or can you benefit from shutting up?"

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One of the pillars of our brand is self-awareness. What does self-awareness look like for you?

Destiny: My journal and I are besties. In fact, I love journaling so much that I create journals for fun! I think writing your thoughts on paper is so damn powerful. Not to mention, there are actual psychological benefits to putting a pen on paper and writing. 

 

Journaling feels like a safe place to get to know myself. I can be 100% honest, because I'm the author and the reader. There's also no pressure because it doesn't have to be perfect. On the paper I give myself permission to exist as I am, and that is what helps me continue getting to know myself.

What advice would you give to people who don't know where to begin their self-love and self-discovery journey?

 

Destiny: Trust yourself - and if you don't ask yourself why. If you sit with yourself long enough and ask yourself why enough times, I believe you'll uncover the answers you are looking for. My favorite page in Unlearning Survival is when I ask journalers to explore the beliefs that are holding them back and they have to ask themselves why 5 times. By the last "why" there's usually some gem, hidden all the way in your beautiful subconscious, that teaches you about yourself.

 

Often times, people give advice based on their own experiences, sometimes filled with their own projections! We are all individual people with so many stories and differences. Nobody knows you better than you... sit with that.
 

Follow my wellness page @lovedbydestiny and subscribe to Loved by Destiny to get monthly inspiration and resources that support your holistic wellness journey... because you're so loved. Thanks for reading!

Choose yourself...